I’m a big believer in the magic of the right question; a powerful question can shift perspective, open up a new conversation and can stir up stale air that lingers past its expiration date. What better time than to share my quirky set of questions which I’m asking myself and my clients at the end of this year.
In this article, I’m asking 6 questions – 2 that help you reflect, 2 that help you arrive at the present moment, and 2 that help you propel forward.
If we don't know where we have been, how dare we describe where we are going?
If your life in 2022 read like a season of a riveting Netflix show, what would it say about episodes, the season and the overall show?
We love stories because they’re not just clinical facts presented in a stark manner. They have moods, soundtracks and characters which make for great entertainment. They convey what’s important to the characters – their motivations and their dreams. Invariably, there’s a character who might add some contrast to the upbeat and joyful tone with it’s own brand of sabotage or deceit. If you scoped the story from your year gone by, what stands out as milestones and moments of truth for you? What held you back? As the protagonist of your own story, what were the values which were important for you?
Who were you in 2022? Who were you not?
I’ve often asked a client in a moment of truth, “what do you want?” The answer is inevitably “I don’t know”. In my opinion, it’s not that we don’t know what we want. It’s that we haven’t found the courage to take a stand for what’s really important for us. This can get tough, especially when we are torn between conflicting sets of values. In a situation like this what I do not want, while not necessarily the opposite of what I do, helps throw some light on the former answer. Similarly, we are often somewhat blind to the ways we’ve been showing up in our lives. What’s helpful is to ask who I wasn’t being in the year, in a situation or in this chapter of my life. Who was I afraid to be? Who did I dare to be? Asking this of ourselves honestly can give us a great deal of information about the direction our heart is longing for us.
Purpose is in this moment
What’s an old story of your life that you are ready to let go? What would you be saying no to? In its place, what would you be saying yes to?
Life is like a refrigerator. To stock up on new produce, you’ve got to clean out the stale and expired stuff. At present, what’s the life recipe you want to create? What ingredients in your fridge are serving you and what’s past it’s expiration. This is a treasure trove of discovery because we hang on to all sorts of old stuff for all sorts of reasons. Old habits which have a sentimental attachment, fears, even belief systems that served us at one time, which are in fact irrelevant now. To make room for the new, the old has to go.
If your 5 year old self, your present self and your 85 year old self were seated next to each other at a tea party, what would they all agree on that was important for you to pay attention to in your life today. What would they agree is important for you to let go.
Age is a tremendous perspective builder. And when you invite all versions of you in a room, what insights could emerge 😉 When I did this exercise for myself while writing my book this exercise actually took a very serious turn. I found that when our fear of security makes us believe we have to trade creativity and fun for serious adulting, we disconnect ourselves from our authenticity and genuine wisdom. I wonder what the conversation you have with your cross generational self will yield!
What's is steering your ship in 2023?
If 2023 had a tagline, what’s yours for this year?
I used to be a goal setting junkie. Truth is, I love that part of me. I have my checklists and milestones for 2023. It’s how I subject these to my litmus test that’s become a game changer. Whatever you’ve got going for you in the year ahead, it never hurts to ask how these actions or intentions are supported by your values, your why and whom you want to be showing up as in the world or simply the theme you’ve taken a stand for. Having a focus word or tagline helps keep you grounded to what’s really important. I have a 2023 visual which I’m anchored to. See below. I look at it and it tells me everything about what’s off kilter and what’s aligned at any given moment. What’s yours?
Standing rooted amidst the unfurling waves
What’s your chosen perspective around pivoting in 2023?
I truly believe that every leader needs to have a ready chosen stand they’re taking around pivoting. You are only as good as your last pivot! Does pivoting make you feel queasy? Does it excite you? Knowing your position on how you navigate change can be super helpful for what life is going to throw your way in the year. That you are going to be required to pivot is inevitable. The perspective you hold around it is your choice. What are you choosing?
If you enjoyed engaging with these questions, I have a gift for you that you are going to love.
Visit www.coachedbyerica.com to sign up for my BIG 2023 Transformation Workbook. It’s been designed to help you experience the entire set of questions you need to equip yourself to have the most fulfilling year yet – for REAL TRANSFORMATION!
